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Old 04-04-2015, 10:56 PM   #21
Bellcose
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Oh boy. Apparently a condition which varies widely between individuals. So not good.

While I've experienced emotions, anger, happy, sad, etc, I've not had depression. Have read descriptions, have interacted with those who are depressed but, not having experienced it personally, I have absolutely no knowledge of what it is actually like.

All I am able to do is wish you all the best in overcoming it, seek expert advice if possible and take on board the encouragement of those who have been through it.
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Old 04-04-2015, 11:33 PM   #22
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Sorry kid I didn't finish my post but my keyboard sort of froze.

My wife has read all your comments and has gotten worried about how critical your situation might be. As a therapist she believes your whole family should be going to therapy, not just you. There are few components of your situation that suggest to do so ASAP to prevent a more severe outcome. Your father's behavior may be a reflection the way he has coped with the lost of your brother, it may not be but better auscultate the possibility. That event may still be causing your whole family to fall into depression and may lead to greater consequences. We don't know exactly how to help you other than suggest you to look into department of family affairs or how ever it's called in Utah, if there is no other choice.
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Old 04-04-2015, 11:52 PM   #23
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I'll tell you what. No-one can know about depression until they experience it. We all get the blues but that's different. When something as simple as getting out of bed and dressed is a major chore every day that's a different story. I suffer from depression and have all my life. When I was your age, music was the only thing that kept me going. It was until I was 30 when I was diagnosed with depression and put on meds. Since then, I've been through hell as some of you know (but only what I've wanted you to know) and it has been a struggle even with antidepressants. My advice to you is talk to a counselor at school. They can point you in the right direction on how to deal with depression and your emotionally abusive parents (and that's exactly what it is too).

Keep in mind that we're her as a sounding board if you need us.

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Old 04-05-2015, 12:18 AM   #24
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You are 17 years old. Get a job. Get out of that house. Rent a place to live. Fixing your own problems may make you feel better.
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:06 AM   #25
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I don't know if I can truly understand your situation being an old fart, but you are at the age where you are ending the old and embarking on the new. You can't change the old, but YOU get to control the new.

It sounds like the family as a whole is still struggling with your brother's death, and that is very understandable. I really doubt that anything your father is telling you is what he really feels, he just can't get past the loss either.

You have a good 70 yeas ahead of you to make your life the way that you want....this part of your life is a very small percentage of it. Talk to a counselor, talk to your friends, look for a new future and start working on the "new".

I went through some rough times at that age and joined the Marines to change my world. You don't have to be that drastic, but look around for what you want in life and seek your place. In time, you and your family will get through this period and find a proper perspective.

Good luck, never sell yourself short, and feel free to PM me as well....my ben-gay and thin hair will do what he can to listen.....just speak into my good ear sonny.
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:25 AM   #26
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Well my dads been yelling at me since even before my brothers death so I don't think that's what caused it..but yeah I'm looking for a better job so I can move out. Go to Seattle or something
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:33 AM   #27
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Yo stephen, your outlook and attitude will help alot. I can relate to the verbal abuse coming from your father, and trust me it's best not to let it get you down. Channel that negative energy into your playing or maybe try using it as inspiration in writing some songs. This is a great way to relieve some of the pressures created from the situation.

Additionally, what 80's Rock said should be taken with serious consideration, especially if the feelings of depression persist or seem to worsen over time.
Keep your chin up.
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:43 AM   #28
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I sent a suicide note to a friend one time and they called the cops. My mom tried to talk to me about it, but its hard talking about that kind of thing to your parents. That's probably why they didn't take me to a therapist after my brother died is Cuz I don't like talking about my feelings, especially to my parents. But my dad wouldn't talk to me when the cops came. Never even tried. I feel like I did something wrong, to make my parents not like me. My mom and I get along better when my dads not around, but I don't want to be the reason my family is torn apart.
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:46 AM   #29
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Well, it isn't always easy being a Dad and there is no manual that comes with children...you will find that out some day. Always know that Dads love their children, they just might struggle with how to handle being a Dad.

My Dad was physically abusive when I was a kid. He had huge fits of rage and being a 300 lb Lou Ferrigno type, that was a problem. About ten years after leaving home I found out that my Dad was on heavy steroids due to a severe intestinal condition that nearly killed him. It was all the doctors knew in those days, so it wasn't that my Dad was a mean man, it was the steroid rages that controlled him.

Once the medical community caught up, he was removed from the steroids and became one awesome Dad who has never stopped apologizing for that period of his life. Sometimes it just takes time to understand what is really going on below the surface.

Finding that new start is the right idea. You need to find your place and that starts by setting the terms instead of letting yourself feel "stuck" in a situation. You are never stuck in a situation, there is always things that you can control....it just takes a little time to figure out what that is and then some faith to act on it.

What-ever you decide to do or go, make the effort to find a counselor or even a church to get some closure and support going forward. My sister has depression and has been diagnosed with it for the last 10 years, but you would never know it today if someone didn't tell you. She sought help and took control of it instead of letting it control her....you can do the same.

Oh, and continue to play that guitar....
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:53 AM   #30
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Yeah I know it might not be my dads fault. But if I ever treat my wife or kids this way I hope they kill me.
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