I felt inspired

Underdog · 10-27-2009, 09:13 PM

I just threw this together inside all of 5 minutes. I know it needs a lot of work yet. My writing skills are rusty.

It was cold when the train pulled into town
With a chilling rain threatening to come down.
Ben approached the platform with great care
For there was danger in the air.
He did not know his pending fate
Or that his draw would be too late.

Polly was feeding their youngest, Joe
Humming to herself soft and low.
There was no reason for her to fear.
She didn’t know the end was near
Her family was to her all that mattered.
But soon her life would be shattered.

Ben asked two strangers where they were bound
But too late he knew who he had found.
He tried valiantly to draw his gun
Before more murdering could be done.
One of those escapees thought he knew best
Drew first and shot Ben in the chest.

Polly heard someone at her door knock
It was a message from the town’s Doc
Her Ben had been shot, the gunman had fled
Her Ben had fallen to the cobblestones dead.
She clutched Joe to her as she wailed and cried
For her seven children’s father had died.

Loosely based on a true event. I came across this entry today on the Officer Down Memorial page. Night Marshal Benjamin B. Schmitt, O'Fallon Police Department Benjamin Bernard Schmitt, or B.B. as he was known to his family and friends, was my great - grandfather. The 2 men were being transported west by train to prison when they overpowered a guard. B.B. didn't realize until too late they were escaped cons. He managed to fire 3 shots and wound one man before he died in the street.

Odd... I just noticed I am the same age as B.B. when he was killed.

boyda · 10-27-2009, 10:44 PM

Well done! I liked it.

Just out of curiosity, had you given a thought to what kind of music you were wanting to set these lyrics to?

Nycholai · 10-27-2009, 11:46 PM

I think that would be a fantastic blues song.

Underdog · 10-28-2009, 01:49 AM

Bah! It sucks! I will need to put some work into it. As for music... I have no clue.

Thanks for your input, though!

10-27-2009, 09:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
Underdog Fighting forum crime! Join Date: May 2009 Location: I live in the 14 inch bar mill and occasionally am allowed to see my wife and kids Posts: 5,609	I felt inspired I just threw this together inside all of 5 minutes. I know it needs a lot of work yet. My writing skills are rusty. It was cold when the train pulled into town With a chilling rain threatening to come down. Ben approached the platform with great care For there was danger in the air. He did not know his pending fate Or that his draw would be too late. Polly was feeding their youngest, Joe Humming to herself soft and low. There was no reason for her to fear. She didn’t know the end was near Her family was to her all that mattered. But soon her life would be shattered. Ben asked two strangers where they were bound But too late he knew who he had found. He tried valiantly to draw his gun Before more murdering could be done. One of those escapees thought he knew best Drew first and shot Ben in the chest. Polly heard someone at her door knock It was a message from the town’s Doc Her Ben had been shot, the gunman had fled Her Ben had fallen to the cobblestones dead. She clutched Joe to her as she wailed and cried For her seven children’s father had died. Loosely based on a true event. I came across this entry today on the Officer Down Memorial page. Night Marshal Benjamin B. Schmitt, O'Fallon Police Department Benjamin Bernard Schmitt, or B.B. as he was known to his family and friends, was my great - grandfather. The 2 men were being transported west by train to prison when they overpowered a guard. B.B. didn't realize until too late they were escaped cons. He managed to fire 3 shots and wound one man before he died in the street. Odd... I just noticed I am the same age as B.B. when he was killed. __________________ Slim, I am NOT Mast! "I love humanity. It's people that I can't stand..." - Linus Van Pelt "Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." - Woody Allen

10-27-2009, 10:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
boyda Spiny Norman Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 1,595	Well done! I liked it. Just out of curiosity, had you given a thought to what kind of music you were wanting to set these lyrics to? __________________ Without music, life would be an error.

10-28-2009, 01:49 AM	#4 (permalink)
Underdog Fighting forum crime! Join Date: May 2009 Location: I live in the 14 inch bar mill and occasionally am allowed to see my wife and kids Posts: 5,609	Bah! It sucks! I will need to put some work into it. As for music... I have no clue. Thanks for your input, though! __________________ Slim, I am NOT Mast! "I love humanity. It's people that I can't stand..." - Linus Van Pelt "Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." - Woody Allen

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10-27-2009, 11:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
Nycholai Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Posts: 94	I think that would be a fantastic blues song.